Chemo Is Not for Wussies-Part 2

Chemo Nun shares her wisdom.

“You will lose your hair.” 

That was the first side effect Chemo Nun told me to expect. Since I already had a sizable bald spot from the brain radiation, I decided why wait for the rest to drop on its own? Our dog, Daisy, was blowing her winter coat. Our floors didn’t need any more tumbleweed hair bunnies. I decided it should all go away leaving a buzz cut style. I’ve only had very short hair twice in my life. Both times I regretted the cut and vowed never again. I simply do not have the best head or face shape for short hair.

I have been cutting my husband’s hair for years. Assuming he had been paying attention to the procedure, I thought he would be capable of doing the job. You know that saying about assuming? It’s true. Since my hair was shoulder length, I told him that he would need to cut it short with scissors in sections so it would be easier for the clippers to do the rest. He grabbed what felt like a four inch thick clump on top of my head and started sawing through it. These were brand new hair cutting scissors, but it felt like the ones I’ve used for years to cut through paper and cardboard. Ouch! Sweeney Todd had a more delicate touch. Forget the scissors. Use the clippers, but take it slow like when you’re mowing after a heavy rain. He zipped through my scalp like he was at a sheep shearing competition. I tried not to struggle too much. 

The hair was gone leaving a quarter inch of stubble. If I thought short hair looked bad on me, mostly hairless was even worse. Good news: I’ll be saving on hair products and I have lots of wigs. Bad news: most of the wigs are from most recent theatre productions I had been in. So, should I be scary Grandma Addams, domineering Domina, ditzy Dotty, 70s Sarah? Oh well, scarves and turbans were more comfortable.

“Put the lid down and flush twice.” 

This initially puzzled me. Hey, I am a girl. I’ve been putting the lid down since I was 2. However, flush twice? Apparently, when the body starts shedding the chemo drugs via poop and pee, leaving the lid up when flushing the chemo cooties will disperse into the air. Ew. That isn’t healthy for anyone in the house. Plus, clean the toilet frequently. Yay, one of my least favorite chores. I’ll tell my husband that he needs to clean the toilet after he uses it—just to ensure his safety. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. 

“At the first HINT of nausea, take the medication.” 

After my first chemo, I anticipated the queasiness to kick in rather quickly. Nope. Didn’t happen. Great!  I didn’t have much of a problem with nausea or vomiting—at first. There were a few bouts of nausea, but not so severe that I felt the need for the vomit pills. 

“Your appetite will change and some foods will taste differently.” 

No shit, Sherlock!  Almost immediately, I noticed a metallic taste that affected the flavor of just about everything—even water. Many favorite foods were no longer appealing, especially anything deep fried, spicy, or having a strong odor. One frustrating issue was something that was appealing and tasted good one day did not the next day. Plus, it didn’t take much to fill me up. Small meals with frequent small snacks in between. She also suggested I try drinking Ensure. It. Was. The. Worst. Even drinking it through a straw stuck as far back away from the taste buds, it still was gross. High Protein Boost was better, but still needed a straw to avoid too much flavor. And it frequently came back quickly as though saying, “You didn’t get a good taste the first time!” Ever try vomiting into a bottle? It can’t be done.

“Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!” 

I’ve always been good about drinking lots of water and carrying a large insulated bottle everywhere. However, with changing taste it became a challenge. I tried adding a bit of juice, Gatorade, lemon and orange slices, but it still tasted weird. I had to force myself to take frequent sips.

I decided Chemo Nun knew her stuff.  I should write her a note of gratitude and thank her for not making me take a test. 

Thanks for reading!